i walk through the door of Brisbane airport trying to get a grip on two 0’ board bags and am greeted with, “You must be with us”. introductions out of the way, i’m sitting on a plane with lensman extraordinaire Swilly, experienced traveller Grant thomas (who has the remarkable ability of being able to sleep through both take-off and landing) plus longboard powerhouses tegan Riddle, a Coolie girl with an effervescent smile and a fear of pirates (more later), and Crescent’s Jodie Barsby

– who despite getting thrown fully clothed into the ocean by a pack of ungentlemanly men three times, was still prepared to feed them with reef fish to die for.

let’s face it, plane trips are shit. Really, there isn’t too much to look forward to apart from catching up on the latest in stimulating and intellectual fare fresh from hollywood, and ah, scoring the complimentary toothbrush which was to save a layer of fungus growing on my teeth during  days at sea. the 4-hour stopover at Singapore was mainly spent drinking with our friendly barman Ritchie, who was particularly nice to us due to a previous friendship struck with Grant. it seems, if you’re travelling with Gt there’s every chance you’ll bump into a barman he knows at an airport somewhere. We also met up with more of our contingent, Freshie’s lawrence “Surf-every-Session-like-its-Your-last” harkness and nick, our soon-to-be surf guide from Santa Cruz via the north Shore.

We arrive wearily at Male airport to be greeted by louis, our man with the knowledge on waves and weather (who we’d have wanted to kill if it was flat the whole time) and get the low-down on what to expect from the endless breaks that dot the Maldives. On boarding the very fine nautilus One we’re met by French stand-up paddle and all-round longboard wizard Romain Maurin, and the frotha’s from Florida, Mikey detemple and grommet Justin Quintall.

Set south of india, roughly around the equator, the Maldives is a clump of islands and atolls surrounded by amazing turquoise water, with an abundance of fish, boats, and gay boatmen among other things. Maldivian men show their friendship in a much more physical fashion than us and some of their displays we may well have misunderstood. it’s a cultural thing i guess, but we soon became accustomed to it, although young Justin always seemed a little hesitant around Saabro the dingy driver, who besides being one of the campest people i’ve ever met also took a real shine to him.

(left) inviting or what? Mikey detemple – far from Florida.(below) happy Vegemites.(bottom) Coolie kid tegan Riddle.

(below) Gt going offff!(opposite page, top) Sweet power – Jodie Barsby.(bottom) Justin Quintall, more track than the indian-Pacific.

We began the first day of our adventure by heading north to the closest and most crowded set of reef passes that offer up a selection of rights or lefts and get a run down of the characteristics of each by louis, which isn’t a bad thing considering, that apart for Romain, he’s got a boatload of Maldives virgins. We tried to make a decision as to which board to surf among the ridiculous array being unravelled from their protective cocoons. the thing that grabbed my interest was the variety; from epoxy SUP boards, through heavy logs, to performance longboards and shortboards (regular and epoxy), to fish as short as 5’2”

- enough to stock a small surf shop.

Our first waves were a great little warm-up to shake off travel fatigue and to rejuvenate in crystal waters with nothing but boardies and t-shirts to shield us from the really hot sun. Pretty bloody good really.

it wasn’t all joy though, with the first board broken by the sometimes punchy left. Guess Justin was just too excited to be out of Florida and pushed a little too hard into a cascading lip. next came lunch and our first taste of the delectables we’d be devouring courtesy of the chef, then straight back out in the water. this time the rights, and their clean and sometimes speedy walls kept us entertained until the sun set on our first day.

Our second day was spent surfing the same right only this time it was slightly bigger and showing more form. Within half an hour, down went the second board. Just after telling Mikey how i really didn’t want to break a board i’d borrowed for the trip - i did it. after several hours in the water it was lunch boat-style, fish and curry. then just to keep his rep going, Justin thought it would be a good idea to break another board. his lesson number two, don’t try and pull into close-outs on a lightweight 9 footer unless you want two 4’6”s.

On some nights, the San Miguel seemed to flow a little more liberally than others, which often resulted in the concoction of some form of challenge (damn, i knew there’d have to be consequences to being on a boat with Grant). Starting with a beer skull, the stand-up paddle time-trial around the boat showed me that SUP’s have many purposes beyond scaring people in crowded line-ups. Other challenges included swimming time-trials, fishing comps, the keg bench press (which became even more entertaining when Gt dropped it on his face), and a three-beer buy-in poker tournament that went down to the wire.

i guess the third day is about the point that island time really starts to kick-in, and it ended up blurring into those yet to come. after a morning surf on the faithful and consistent right (not too early though, no point rushing these things), we upped anchor and set a course south, taking brekky on the run. Many hours, surf checks, and UnO games later, we reach our first destination - yet another group of reefs. after checks of the different set-ups on offer we still have enough time to sneak in an afternoon session on an inside right. With head-high sets and plenty of smaller ones in between, it was a really noseride-friendly wave compared to what we’d surfed so far, you just had to make sure you didn’t get too carried away as it got quiet shallow on the inside.

(right) Do the maths, double it, send your mate out. (below, left to right)tegan, too much fun? Jodie, any wonder she’s the Queen of Crescent! lawrence harkness, about to feel some reef-draw. Our scribe, silky shaper thomas Bexon.

First light surf checks revealed the swell wasn’t in our favour, so after weather reports and staring at maps we set sail for a good part of the day. island time now ruled, with the best indicator of the time of day being the bell that rang for brekky, lunch or dinner. We eventually arrived at a group of three or so islands with a reef pass in between and lines of white-water. With the potential of surfing new waves, excitement levels rise, especially among the now-restless grommets who can only take so much sunbaking. We pile into the dhoni for a closer look. a right breaking off the island where we’ve anchored has shape but lacks push, across the channel we spot a left, and then on the other side of the island, yet another right! and this one’s looking pretty good. to us virgins, the currents and tides here seem to be unrelated, but somehow this combination leads to this righthander getting progressively better throughout the afternoon and we have a ball right through till sunset.

Back on board, San Miguel and poker were on, and with six contenders keen to reduce quickly growing bar bills it was more than a friendly game. Meanwhile Romain was in the process of catching his first fish.

For a man so comfortable in the ocean, it was hard to believe that this was his first

– a delightful bonito that went down very well at lunch the following day. lawrence, also a first time fisher, quickly put a damper on the Frenchman’s pride though by pulling in two, the smallest of which was double the size of Romain’s.

the morning’s surf check revealed waves but nothing too amazing so we took a chance on exploring for new breaks at a reef pass we could see on the map. two hours of the roughest sea we encountered all trip revealed a reef that just wasn’t really the right shape for the swell direction, so we returned to our overnight anchorage and the waves it offered. Just to rub salt in, the return trip was 30-minutes in flat water up the inside of the reef. i guess that’s what happens when you go to new areas, you can’t expect to know the quickest routes, but no doubt the captain took a note of that one. One of the best things we experienced down south was not just the surf itself, but the feeling of finding waves and not knowing if they’ve been ridden before, then surfing them just to see what it’s like to possibly be the first to catch a wave at that break.

(right) almond to open, Gt samples some Maldivian barrels.(opposite page, left) thomas pushes the speed button.(opposite page, centre and bottom) the flying Frenchman Romain Maurin

– long, short, log, SUP, fish.

With some really fast sections, the left looked way more enticing than it had earlier in the morning, but proved to be challenging with a lot of water moving around, making shooting from the water a little difficult for Swilly. the rights however were a different kettle of fish, and although smaller, the shape was better. as it had the day before, the waves just kept improving as it got closer to nightfall, resulting in the break getting named JBD’s (Just Before Dark). Mikey summed up the wave and area perfectly, “how good’s this! all alone, no boats, no planes, just us in the middle of nowhere”.

Justin, our frothing Floridian, was totally unaware of the humiliation a bunch of travelling surfers can do to the grommet of the trip. With tegan organising the evil plot and then sitting by as her henchmen carried out her dirty work, she invited (more like lured) Justin up to the bow of the boat by telling him the rest of us were in bed and she wanted to hang out. he was quickly in tow and even more quickly pounced on and hog-tied. Justin was taking his restricted arrangement pretty well until nick and Grant approached with textas in hand. his shouts of, “Don’t draw anything unless it’s a penis,” seemed to spark the interest of Saabro, the campy boat driver who wasted no time in seductively stroking his stomach and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Oh dear . . .

amid shouts of, “enough is enough!” it was now time for thirsts to be quenched and fish to be caught, while Frenchman Romain yelled, “Un oeuf is an egg!” Maybe he thought we wanted to egg Justin as well. Perhaps a tad loony by now from the guilts over Justin’s humiliation (or maybe just Myspace withdrawals) not to mention a nearby earthquake that gave our boat a rumble that night, tegan became convinced the nautilus One was being boarded by pirates, resulting in her locking doors and jumping into bed with Jodie to seek comfort from Jack Sparrow’s pillaging men! had we imbibed a little too much? . . . maybe . . . nah.

an early departure had us cruising north again back to familiar territory and the right that had offered up the noseriding sections a couple of days earlier, only to find another right breaking on the outside of the reef! With a nice open face and rolling wall, it was perfect for practising round-house cutbacks, and it’s hard not to notice how honed Gt’s are - with plenty of power carried through to a vertical belt off the white-wash. it was a case of watch and learn. Q

(above) lawrence . . . “what a wonderful wooorld”. (opposite page, top) Oh-so-clean, Mikey in the slot.

next we headed onto a nearby island to get a taste of local living. With tsunami destruction evident everywhere and plenty of rebuilding going on, it was eye-opening for us to be the tourists we were, and to take some pics with the locals and see how they live. an afternoon session on the inside right provided a great cool-off after walking around the island. Getting into the crystal clear water seems to be pretty popular with the locals also, with many joining us for some waves on broken boards that have been left behind by previous trips. another day surfing, smiling, and sailing complete, it’s time again for fish, curry and San Miguels.

now more than halfway through our trip, we’d added a couple of shades to the ever-darkening tans and the days begin to roll into each other. Our individual wave-counts are truly satisfying, but we’re all still itching for more, but none as much as the grommet from Florida and lawrence. it would be hard to rack up as many waves as these guys in a session even if you were the only one in the water. eventually, with no major hops planned for our last few days, we are left to just surf and that doesn’t seem to be something that anyone argues with.

at one righthander that was more open than other waves we’d had so far, Gt got to show-off the skills that many trips to indo provides, and the rest of us scored some cover-ups as well. Romain jumped on the SUP and showed us all how it’s done with chop hops, poised noserides and cutbacks that made you second guess which side of the board he’s on – all with 6-foot of paddle in his hands.

We’ve spent so much time in the water the last couple of days that everyone is surfing far better than when they arrived  days ago, and sunburn has really taken hold. the last morning sees us score some of the best waves of the trip, but only half of us made it into the water; is it possible to be out of energy after all? With an hour or so left to surf we seemed to have timed it perfectly and score a couple of barrelling set waves for a perfect send-off as we begrudgingly head towards Male, the airport and home. With a great variety of waves and plenty of relaxing time, could there be a better way to spend  days than floating around the Maldives?

Big thanks to Louis of Liquid Destination and the crew of the Nautilus One.